Amerikan Refugees, The Rest of the World Doesn't Want You.

I read a funny article yesterday about how interest in emigration from Amerika has spiked after the election. Part of it makes me laugh.  

 

“Google searches for "move to Canada" surged 1,270% in the 24 hours after U.S. East Coast polls closed on Tuesday, company data shows. Similar searches about moving to New Zealand climbed nearly 2,000% while those for Australia jumped 820%.” 

 

Boy, have I got some bad news for those people. Most countries do not want you. 

 

Your tourist dollars, yes. You, no thank you. There are countries (like Panama and Ecuador) that make it “easy” for Amerikans to immigrate. But most places do not. And they do not for all the same reasons Amerika tries to limit migration. They do not want to be overrun by people “taking our jobs” or of dubious character. Even Panama, one of the more corrupt countries I’ve lived in, requires a clean police report from wherever immigrants are coming from. 

 

But that is only one tiny little issue. The biggest issue facing any Amerikan who wants to leave the country is that most other countries don’t want Amerikans. Sure, countries need skilled individuals and will find ways to accommodate those people (and their families). But most people in most countries will be ready and very willing to explain to any Amerikan in great detail all the times Amerika shat on them as a country or on their neighbouring countries. 

 

“Did you know that Amerika imposed a 100% tariff on New Zealand lamb in the early 2000s?” Why? Because New Zealand has no predators, and the depression/recession of the 1980s resulted in the removal of all subsidies for lamb farming. The entire industry had to restructure, and NZ lamb undercut Amerikan lamb by thirty to forty percent. Amerikan farmers could not accept that and had the Clinton administration impose tariffs because NZ lamb was “subsidised”. 

 

They remember every single coup supported by the US of Amerika. They remember every single time Amerika sided with their primary enemy, no matter what the reasons. They remember every single time Amerika invaded or bombed any other country. They still remember Vietnam and hold all Amerikans personally responsible. In Panama, they celebrate two Independence Days, one from Spain and one from Columbia. But they also celebrate Martyrs Day (January 9th), commemorating anti-Amerikan riots on January 9th, 1964, when there were riots over the sovereignty of the Panama Canal Zone. Amerikans are recommended to stay home on January 9th. 

 

And if an Amerikan ally did something nasty, they remember and remind you that Amerika did nothing to reign them in. The military aid continued to flow, and there were no diplomatic sanctions. 

 

Any Amerikan who is upset about Amerika’s support for Israel and their genocide, just wait until they are told that they are personally responsible for that genocide because they are Amerikan and support the Amerikan governments. The bombs that fall are Amerikan. The F-16 and F-15s dropping those bombs are Amerikan. The Apache helicopters are Amerikan. Each Amerikan is answerable for every crime committed by Amerika over the past seventy to eighty years. And while Amerikan schools do not teach the truth about Amerikan history, people outside Amerika know Amerikan history. Blacks lynched (were any of your ancestors involved?) and slavery (wasn’t the country built on that?). 

 

Oh, but Amerika has this wonderful Constitution that protects everyone’s rights. 

 

Yes, thank you. That brings up another question. Why on earth doesn’t Amerika do something about the guns and the school shootings? Talk to people who are getting ready to visit Amerika and ask them if they have any worries about their upcoming trip. Not all of them, but a fair proportion will say that they are afraid of a cop killing them for no reason. Really? Are you ready to answer how Amerika lets that happen? So, are you ready to defend the Second Amendment? Good luck with that. You will be laughed at, at best. If it sounds like they have accepted your point of view, trust me, they haven't; they just know there is no point in arguing religion with idiots.

 

To be fair, most countries do not want unfettered immigration by anyone from anywhere. They do want to control the flow of people to avoid the collapse of infrastructure and services. And so, they will have limits on the numbers and types of people (including Amerikans) that they allow in. Easiest, of course, are those who can buy their way in. 

 

Buying your way in is easiest if you are a billionaire. Peter Thiel, billionaire and owner of JD Vance, bought his New Zealand permanent residency visa and citizenship. If you are a billionaire you are welcome anywhere, regardless of your views or beliefs or history. 

 

But if you are not a billionaire, then you’d best have plenty of money and a “desirable” profession. A desirable profession to meet most countries' immigration requirements (they don’t want to let just anyone in) and plenty of money to pay for the move and setting up costs, including buying a home or renting long term. In many countries, there are limitations on the professions you can practice. These limitations can be soft (require recertification in your profession) and hard (in Panama, accountants and lawyers must be Panamanian citizens to practice legally). 

 

But mostly, countries are uncomfortable (though perhaps not officially) with foreign cultures moving into their neighbourhoods. Does that sound familiar? 

 

And I have seen and heard Amerikans disparaging my wife for having a French accent (“Foreigners are ruining the country, they really shouldn’t be here” - yes, that was said within earshot, intentionally, in a supermarket in Amerika). 

 

Let me assure you that the Amerikan accent is held in contempt outside Amerika. It is a sign to locals that there are people with no culture but plenty of money (or so they think). Amerikans are marks, every one of them. And if they are not a mark, they are ignored, or ridiculed.  

 

My favourite story is about our being in a restaurant in Paris in the early 2000s before indoor smoking bans became law. We were in a bar-restaurant in the heart of Paris, sitting enjoying our wine, smoke swirling around us. Suddenly, we heard a loud Amerikan-accented woman shouting, “Garçon. Garçon”. (Please, do not call the waiter “garçon”, a simple "s'il vous plaît" will work much better.) You could see all the French watching, with more mirth than unpleasantness, as the waiter came over. “Garçon! We specifically asked for Non Smoking”. “Ba, oui madam”, he said, pointing to the No Smoking sign on their table (situated in the middle of the restaurant, “Zis is zee Non Smoking table.” He turned and walked away. All the French sniggering into their hands. 

 

If you are really thinking of leaving Amerika, remember that you will be moving someplace that knows more about Amerika than you do, and not all that they know is flattering.  

 

But, but, you say, Amerika has done so much good in the world. Save it. I used to have that argument, and could even list the good. But outside Amerika they do not care. The trouble that Amerika has caused in support of Amerikan interests has so outweighed any good as to be tolerated at best.  

 

But, but, you say, everyone wants to come to America. Yes, they do. To make more money than they can at home. For the culture? Ha! For the freedom? Ha! For the money they can make, and then with luck they will make enough to go home. Or, they are coming to escape true hell and to try to bring their families with them. But for Amerika and Amerikan culture and freedom and the rest of it. Forget it. 

 

And just as those terrible foreigners refuse to assimilate into Amerika (where they are not welcome, trust me, we know), so Amerikans, rooted in their belief that Amerika is the shining city on the hill, do not integrate. Never have. Sometimes, they do not want to, and sometimes, because no matter how hard they try, they will always be seen as being Amerikan. Trust me, I know. 

 

So if you want to “leave Amerika”, good for you. But know that it will be a hard road. Sure, there are thousands of stories, and everyone who made the move will tell you how wonderful it has been. Believe them. But also understand that most of them did it not because the political party changed, but because they were already mentally prepared and ready to experience a different culture or cultures. 

 

If you want to flee Amerika, congratulations, you are the new refugee. I hope the world treats you much better than Amerika has treated refugees throughout the past hundred and more years. And you better hope they do, too.